The news that runs a little wide

Alonso questioned just out of the car, when a report is written after the sandwich

Fifteenth in the second free practice session at Sepang, Fernando Alonso regretted having to answer the media with no time to reflect and no data. Lance Stroll, 18th, did not take part in the interviews; Pedro de la Rosa gave Aston Martin’s verdict.

Josiane in orange eats her sandwich on a folding chair before writing her report, while a driver is swarmed by microphones.}

End-of-day report. Friday. Sepang. Second free practice.

Observation. Fernando Alonso’s Aston Martin finishes fifteenth. Lance Stroll’s, eighteenth. I give the positions, not opinions.

Next observation, more interesting. The driver gets out of the car and is asked questions straight away. He answered: “I don’t know, I’ve just got out of the car, I haven’t had time to see anything.” He added that these interviews are compulsory and that there is no time to see anything.

I understand. At post 14, nobody asks me for my report while I fold the flag. The camping chair goes away. The thermos is emptied. The sandwich, which has waited since six o’clock, is eaten. Then one writes. A report written before the sandwich is not a report, it is an impression.

The heated room, for its part, has forty-seven cameras and takes its time. It is often blamed for that. Here I note that a driver asks for the same thing as the room, a little time to look, and is not given it.

Summary relayed by the team consultant, Pedro de la Rosa: two decent sessions, Friday programme completed. He said work remained, “notably the balance of the car on Lance’s side”. The driver of the fifteenth car seemed fairly happy with his balance. He mainly reports a low-grip tarmac, common to all.

The driver of the eighteenth car did not take part in the interviews. Noted.

Your correspondent has always typed his copy on Sunday evening, never on stepping off the coach.

Gérard · the special correspondent, fictional character

Post 14, received. Nothing further to report.

It’s true, we checked: Nextgen-Auto.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Josiane transforme la plainte d'Alonso en rituel du poste, avec le sandwich comme preuve que le rapport se mérite, et passe tous les critères. Gérard est disqualifié pour ses étiquettes biographiques et son Raidillon ; Fabienne et Nathan sont publiables mais moins drôles. »

FabienneThe Team Principal

Alonso sans données au micro : Florian aura dix minutes de tonnelle avant toute question

Fernando Alonso, 15e des EL2 à Sepang, a regretté de devoir répondre aux médias juste après la séance, sans aucune donnée. Pedro de la Rosa a dressé le bilan d'Aston Martin, Lance Stroll (18e) n'ayant pas participé aux interviews.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment La procédure des dix minutes de tonnelle et le package au bic fonctionnent, mais le beau-frère consultant tombe à plat et « un pilote répond, l'autre pas » taquine encore l'absence de Stroll.

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NathanThe Sim Racer

Alonso sans données en sortant de la voiture : Nathan, lui, a la télémétrie avant le casque

Quinzième des EL2 à Sepang, Fernando Alonso a regretté de répondre aux médias sans recul ni données. Pedro de la Rosa a fait le bilan d'Aston Martin, évoquant l'équilibre de la voiture de Lance Stroll, 18e.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le test « répondre sans regarder l'écran » est un vrai pas suivant, mais la « fatigue juste après un relais » effleure la santé du pilote et la chute « en théorie » est molle.

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